I had to hold a huge party,
To put my mind at rest,
I thought I’d have a test
To lift the worry from my chest
I may have become antisocial
And also tea-total.

I found I hadn’t changed at all.
Alcohol didn’t make me fall,
All my friends came to call.
We embraced at the door,
They said they loved me even more,
When we happily broke, the Cummings law.